It definitely has been a journey in my 20s to get to this point in my life. I’ve had a lot of joy, sadness, happiness, love, heart aches/breaks, tears, laughter, accomplishments, etc. It’s amazing what a decade can really teach you. I’ve learned a lot from my mistakes in life, in love, in friendships, in relationships and in work, yet the most important lesson I’ve learned thus by far, is that you should never settle for anything less than you deserve.
As sad as I’ve been about turning 30, a few people have told me that your life begins at 30, and at first, I didn’t believe it, but now I’m beginning to. I guess, I just thought life would have panned out a lot differently than how it is now. I thought I’d be married, enjoying married life and then planning the next stage; having children. I know we all have this “vision” of what our future is supposed to be, but nothing is ever promised to us, the only promise we have is the present moment.
6 more days and I’m going to be 30, yup, the BIG 3-0.
This year has been tough; dealing with inner struggles, struggles in my personal life, struggles in general, but through it all, I’ve learned a lot. I’ve learned that you should always put yourself first and the things that you need in life, should never take a backseat.
I guess the hardest part in all of this, is that, when I really want something, I always go after it, and achieve it, but this time I can’t. This time it’s different, I’m different. I need to take this time for myself and as hard as it is, I know that I need to do this, not for anyone else, but for myself.
Relationships nowadays are a lot harder than they used to be; fights are more frequent because conversations are now through text messages, instant messaging and/or emails. It just makes me think, maybe, just maybe, relationships happen, but are not meant to last.
Maybe, I’m just “jaded”, since I’ve been through my fair share of broken relationships in my life, but with each relationship, I can definitely say I’ve learned something in each and every one of them…don’t settle. Simple as that. Know you’re worth and move on if it doesn’t add value to your life. Yet, as simple as that may seem, it’s not always that easy. Case in point: me. I’m about to approach the age of 30; settled in my life, great career, I own a house, I help take care of mom and grandma, I’m financially stable, family-oriented…yet the one thing that I want most in my life is to have a family of my own.
Possibly, the real problem with me, is that, I fall in love with the idea of being in love, so technically I’m bound to have my heart broken. In my experience with relationships, I’ve yet to meet a “man”. It just seems in general, men take FOREVER to mature; finding the right man, has been quite difficult so as of right now, I’ve tabled that item and I’m just refocusing back on myself. Here’s to starting a new chapter in my life, in my 30s! If it’s meant to happen, it will happen. Here’s to me being positive! :)
Happy Birthday to me! Here’s to turning 30!
"…because even though you might not know where you’re going, you do know who is leading you. And you know that He has never failed yet."